Information of Brett Kavanaugh's latest sexual assault allegation and Donald Trump conducting war policy on Saudi Prince Mohamnmad Bone Saw's orders and Trump deporting sick kids so they can die gettin' you down? Take a five-minute break to chuckle at the president for being a fucking buffoon! Positive, you won't feel "higher" afterward, but that is as a result of feeling higher does not exist anymore.
Anyway, what in the whole fuck is this?
"These Radical Left Democrats are CRAZY! Obama Netflix?" the president asks, like he's a traditional individual asking a traditional question that other individuals are also asking. "OBAMA NETFLIX?!?!?!?!"
SOMEBODY'S a Jealous Janet right now! As an alternative of investigating the apparent actuality that for Donald Trump, the presidency is little more than an elaborate grifting scheme, he just actually needs the Home Judiciary Committee to research ... the fact that Barack Obama got a big book deal, as a result of he is the newest former president and one of the most admired men on the earth? And in addition that Barack and Michelle Obama (most admired woman on the planet) inked a deal to supply documentaries with Netflix?
What does the president assume Congress would investigate about those things, have been Congress to drop all the things and comply with the bouncing ball of the president's ball-shrinking insecurities and hallucinations?
Nah, fuck it, he is just jealous. His whole presidency is based around the notion of erasing Barack Obama, and dagnabbit, his erasable Sharpie ISN'T WORKING. He is upset because the Obamas in all probability have additional cash available than he does, they usually clearly are better at Art Of The Deal-ing than he is, because he's a shitmouthed chickenshit loser who's dangerous at money and dangerous at deals. Let's not attempt to analyze the empty abyss of Trump's skull cavity any further.
By the best way, the Obamas' first film, American Manufacturing unit, is indeed on Netflix right now. You need to watch it, if you need, and every time you hit pause, you need to say "OBAMA NETFLIX?" to your cat, but do not say it too loud or your neighbors may name the police to do a welfare examine at your home.
Want more head-shaking batshittery from Donald Trump, whose brain is just clearly in high quality type today? What taste do you want first? Do you want "Donald Trump is bizarrely obsessive about Elton John's crowd sizes and all the time begs his aides to tell him if he beat Elton John's crowd sizes, and he craves Elton John's approval, and in addition Trump had a very cool moment with Kim Jong Un when he 'splained that his 'Rocket Man' nickname was an Elton John track, which is a very cool track, and Donald Trump sent Kim an Elton John document, because that is awesome, and Donald Trump loves Elton John and has seen the Rocketman documentary about Elton John and loves it very a lot, but Elton John all the time tells Trump to fuck off, which hurts the president proper in the bizarre chest-y space where a daily man's heart can be"?
Because the New York Occasions has that.
In case you'll keep in mind, last yr, Trump said this at a Montana rally:
"I've damaged extra Elton John data. He seems to have a variety of data," Mr. Trump stated. "And I, by the best way, I haven't got a musical instrument. I don't have a guitar or an organ. No organ. Elton has an organ. And plenty of other individuals serving to. No, we have broken numerous data. We have damaged nearly each report."
NO ORGAN! NO ORGAN! ELTON JOHN HAS THE ORGAN!
Perhaps you need a totally different taste of Trump batshit. Perhaps you need to listen to about how each time Trump goes to the G7 (and doubtless the G20 and perhaps even every time he sits on the toilet by himself) he tells the SAME EXACT DAMN FUCKING STORY about ... how he had a very cool moment with Kim Jong Un when he 'splained that his 'Rocket Man' nickname was an Elton John track, which is a really cool music, and Donald Trump despatched Kim an Elton John report, because that is awesome, and Donald Trump loves Elton John very much, and in addition loves Kim Jong Un, who is a brutal dictator, which can also be awesome?
Oh wait, that is the similar flavor of batshit, from a unique angle. In line with BuzzFeed's source, Trump actually goes off on this tangent each time and for no purpose, and no one, not even Boris Johnson, is aware of what the fuck to do about it. And that is how he tells the story, per BuzzFeed's source:
When Trump first met Kim, in Singapore in June last year, the 2 men talked concerning the tweets that Trump had posted in 2017, nicknaming the North Korean chief "Little Rocket Man."
In Trump's retelling, throughout a forwards and backwards trade concerning the name calling the two men had engaged in over many months earlier than the assembly in Singapore — "You referred to as me fat… and you then referred to as me this...," — Kim asks Trump why he'd referred to as him that.
"Don't you recognize Elton John? It is a terrific music," the president, who's a big fan of the British musician, says.
To which Kim responds, "However you referred to as me 'little.'"
Then comes Trump's punchline: "That is what he did not like!"
HA HA, MISTER PRESIDENT! Oh boy, you're the funny president who's under no circumstances mentally unwell! THE ARISTOCRATS!
We simply have one question.
DURRRRR DURRRRRR OBAMA NETFLIX?!
Comply with Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!
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